Two of the most common questions I hear from Spyns former clients while on tour are: 1. How much should I tip while in France? and 2. Why are the restaurant staff so rude? Here is some useful information for your Spyns Tour de France trip.
1. Tipping in France 101
The short answer is: nothing! Scrutinize any French restaurant or bar bill and you'll
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2. "Rude" Restaurant Staff
I've often heard former Spyns clients say French hotel, restaurant and bar staff were "rude". I disagree and wanted to understand what exactly was happening. I speak French fluently and personally find French hotel/restaurant staff discreet, hard-working, and generally excellent. The flip side of the coin are my French friends and family who dispise North American servers. Like so many things, I assumed the difference was cultural and it turns out I was correct. When I asked our former North American clients to define "rude", 99.9% of them said something like: "We arrived at the restaurant and they completely ignored us. We waited for hours for our server to bring anything." Bingo!
3. The Cultural Differences
French culture is designed around food whereas North American culture is more about speed. I believe this is the root of the problem. A typical restaurant meal in my native Canada will last about 1-2 hours maximum. The normal Canadian dinner experience goes a bit like this: arrival at restaurant between 6-7:30 (but a good 30 minutes later than your actual reservation); hostess seats you within 30 seconds; server arrives within 2 minutes with menus, announces specials and takes drink order; light conversation with server ("Hi my name is Bill and I'll be your server tonight." "Hi Bill. Where are you from?" etc); 5 minutes later you place your order and everyone has something different because you have a huge choice of appetizers, main courses, and desserts; your appetizers arrive; and you're eating your main course within 20 minutes following arrival. The waiter comes back to your table 4-5 times to ask if everything is ok and to bring water, fresh drinks, etc. You order dessert, eat it, pay and leave. 1-2 hours max. Now to France.
4. Foreigners in France: The Many Faux Pas
The late arrival is an institution in the US/Canada. You can make a 6:30 dinner reservation and show up at 7:00 or 7:15 without causing a stir because you can normally wait at the bar. There is no bar in France because the French are always on time for restaurant reservations. They also sit down to eat between 7:30 and 9:00. Show up "fashionably late" for dinner in France and the staff is already pissed because they're not used to it. Add a language barrier and things degenerate from there. The normal French meal goes like this: you arrive on time; Madame (the chef's wife) seats you and is usually a little frosty; you sit down and chat for 10-15 minutes before your discreet waiter appears to take your drink order (called an aperitif); no banter with your server because Madame (the owner) forbids them to chat with clients; drinks come abou
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Another cultural difference is that the French and their children eat pretty much everything whereas we're a more "cut the crust off my sandwich" culture. So in addition to our North Americans being late, and ordering something that Madame's husband will now have to defrost and cook for you, Madame now has to listen to the table's list of demands: one vegetarian; one person who can eat fish but only if there isn't a fish head; the kids just want freedom fries and won't sit at the table; and could I please have more ice for my diet coke. So you've given Madame the order which goes something like this: "I'll have the seafood salad but please no shrimp because I'm allergic to it. For the main course can I change the chicken for the steak from the other menu but I don't want vegetables. And no dessert, wait, yes a dessert, no, no dessert. Wait. Does anything want to have my dessert?" Whereas restaurants back home have no problem with changing everything, the disciplined French go ballistic. And it gets worse.
It's now going on 1 hour without food, you've finally ordered a mish-mash of menus, have annoyed Madame, and still have yet to eat anything. You waiter is scared of Madame and now avoids your table but you want something else to drink. Where the hell is he? Everyone is unhappy.
The food comes about 30 minutes later (total time in restaurant 1.5 hrs) and you finally start eating. You're hungry but after 2 baskets of bread, you leave a bit of food on your plate which in France is another no-no. Madame re-appears and disapprovingly looks at your half-finished fish before clearing. You consider this rude. The terrified waiter now wheels out the cheese cart and you decide to try a bit of everything but again leave a Dieppe-like mix of mangled half-finished cheese on your plate. Madame is now overtly hostile at this waste.
Dessert! After 2 to 3 hours, your marathon meal is finally ending. But you've ordered a souffle or melted chocolate cake which takes another 15-30 minutes. No you can't have coffee with your dessert because you're supposed to take your goddamned time, Madame thinks to herself. You half eat your dessert, slurp down coffee, pay and flee.
From a North American perspective, we could easily say that the French were rude but that's too easy. If you see it from the French perspective, the clients were late, demanding, and didn't finish their dinners (a real insult in France).
5. 10 Tips for Enjoying French Restaurants
Here are my tips for enjoying a French restaurant:
1. Show up on time. The French are very punctual for restaurant reservations. If you are going to be more than 15 minutes late, call the restaurant.
2. Learn at least 1-2 sentences in French. However broken, the staff will appreciate the effort (and a smile). "Good afternoon/evening"; "I would like..." and "Please/thank you" are the basics.
3. Show up hungry to avoid leaving food on your plate (an insult in France).
4. Expect to be there for at least 3-4 hours.
5. Understand that French servers are told to be discreet, rather than a "Hey Y'all"-type server. They're not being rude or avoiding you, they're just doing what they've been taught.
6. Order a fixed menu rather than ordering separately (a la carte).
7. Don't make outlandish meal requests, "Can I have the seafood salad but hold the seafood," for example.
8. If traveling with children, leave them at the hotel with a qualified babysitter, rather than have them tearing around the restaurant.
9. Expect to start eating about 30-40 minutes after you arrive. This is quite common in France because you are served a before dinner drink. Fixed menus are also quite detailed so that staff give you a lot of time to make your choices.
10. If you don't like long meals, try to choose a restaurant with a terrace. People-watching can fill up the hours.
Ryan King is President and owner of Spyns - an active travel company. For more information, please visit our websites http://www.tdf-tours.com/; http://www.spyns.com/; or call us toll-free 1.888.825.4720 or email info@spyns.com.